I recently watched Strictly Amy: Crohn’s and Me. It was a really engaging account of Amy Dowden’s life with Crohn’s disease. Her honesty was so impressive, as was her willingness to show herself in situations we instinctively want to keep hidden. If her aim was to improve understanding and empathy, then it certainly worked.
I know that Crohn’s and migraine are not the same, but there are parallels. I found the programme highly relatable and felt like maybe I could be a bit more Amy. I thought Migraine Awareness Week (5th to 11th September 2021) might be a good time to try and, as such, have recruited the help of past me.
For several years now, I have been collecting all sorts of data in a largely futile attempt to identify my patterns and triggers. Amongst this data, are some wordy descriptions of my symptoms and experience on any given day. Below is one such wordy description, from Monday the 14th of January, 2019.
- Woke at 5am with sharp pain around my right eyebrow. Felt I needed to get up. Wanted to take painkillers but didn't think I could stomach them. Couldn't face a cup of tea. Thought about Appletiser but couldn't bring myself to fetch or drink one of those either.
- Felt sick. Lay on the sofa feeling unable to do anything. Don’t think I even listened to podcasts. Threw up in a bucket at some point. Not a huge amount but felt significant. Felt like I was forcibly removing something from my body.
- Stayed on the sofa until about 8.30am then went back to bed. Had paracetamol at 9am and had already started on an Appletiser. Stayed in bed for a few hours. Did a little reading and listening to music/podcasts but it was really hard to concentrate or settle on anything. Dozed on and off.
- Came downstairs at 11.30am and made myself some Ready Brek. Apart from a few sips of water and Appletiser this was the only thing I’d consumed. Had ibuprofen with it.
- Watched telly for a few hours. Browsed my phone a little but didn't feel up to doing jigsaw.
- Besides from the pain (which improved a little) I just felt completely wiped out. It wasn't so much a case of deciding to do nothing. It was like I couldn't even contemplate it.
- Went back up to bed about 3pm for a change of scene and did similar to before (reading, podcasts, etc. but again couldn't really settle).
- Came down again about 4.30pm and cooked myself a pizza. Actually brightened up a little after that. Sitting up, etc. Still didn't really feel able to do anything useful.
- Spent the evening watching a little telly and doing jigsaws. Didn’t go to tap. Purposefully stayed up a little late as I was worried I wouldn't be tired enough to sleep.
- Felt brighter in myself but sad that the day had been a write-off.
Migraine is highly individualised. Another person’s attacks may look better than mine, or worse, or simply different. They may have longer breaks between symptoms or no breaks at all.
I could spout all sorts of statistics but I wanted to share my own raw, personal data to convey the impact that migraine has on my life and the lives of many others. It may seem bleak, but this is often the reality. It’s a reality I need to acknowledge, as do we all, in order to make things better. Thank you for acknowledging it with me.
- If you’d like to know more about migraine, please check out https://migrainetrust.org/. They have some great resources and are lovely people to boot. You can find links to their socials on every page of their website (scroll to the bottom). Likes, shares, retweets, etc. all appreciated.
- Some of my other migraine-related writing (that I reference in the first sentence) can be found here: http://fabrikatie.weebly.com/blog/on-matt-haig-and-migraine
- Amy Dowden’s documentary is (at the time of writing) available on iPlayer: https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000njmn/strictly-amy-crohns-and-me